So...yeah. Finally got something worth to write about. And let me tell you, this topic is...well, unusual. I have never written anything like this before, but now I just can't help it. I never imagined that I would be writing this, but here I am.
Yesterday I watched an episode of RTE TV show The Meaning of Life. It's an Irish television show (RTE stands for Raidio Teilifis Eireann, or Radio and Television of Ireland) hosted by prominent Irish presenter Gay Byrne, basically featuring public figures--politicians, musicians, actors, you name it--being asked about...well, about the meaning of life. More specifically, Uncle Gaybo--Byrne's nickname--invites those public figures to talk about God, their spiritualism, significant events in their lives, and so on. The episode I watched features Andrea Corr, the lead singer of my all-time favourite band and one of my girl crushes (yeah, I have girl crushes. Problem?).
Knowing that Andrea--a self-identified interview loather, may I add--tends to give some thought-provoking answers in interviews, the video of the interview on YouTube instantly caught my attention. I had watched it a few months ago, but yesterday when looking through some interview videos featuring The Corrs, I thought probably it would be a good idea for me to watch Andrea's interview on The Meaning of Life. I'm not going to talk about what the episode is all about because that's not the point of this post, but in general Andrea--who was pregnant with her daughter Jean at the time of the interview--talked about her mother (who died in 1999--The Corrs have written several songs dedicated to her), her religious faith, how she thinks of her fame (she doesn't at all like it, mind you), her brother Jim's conspiracy theories, and so on. Here is the interview, but please make sure you watch it after reading this:
God, isn't she gorgeous and wonderful and...okay, back to topic. So I said I thought it would be a good idea for me to watch the interview again. How wrong I was. It was not a good idea, because yesterday my head was killing me, and watching the interview only made my head spin 'round and 'round and turn upside down (fellow hardCorr fans should get the pun!) with thoughts. About a lot of things. A lot of things that Uncle Gaybo asked Andrea. A lot of things that Andrea revealed. But mostly I thought about God.
Yeah, God. I'm a religious person, whatever that means. I believe in God the Loving, God the Maker, God the Merciful. My faith happens to be Islam, because...well, my parents are Muslims and that's how I was brought up. Yes, I know. You might think that I always get the final say about how to live my faith, about what religion I get to choose. Well, I do. More than a few times I try to imagine myself as 'something' other than a Muslim. I try to imagine myself as a Christian, Buddhist, atheist, even I consider myself to have some tendencies towards deism--that is, believing in God or a higher being whatever that may be without committing to one religion. But the more I think about it, I just...well, probably it's because of years of being a Muslim, I just can't imagine myself as anything else. I have read a few verses in the Bible. I looked up some things that Christianity teaches. Doesn't suit me. The same goes with Buddhism. Atheism...well, I just don't get the idea of this world, the whole thing, the whole chunk of universe without a higher being. When I imagine myself as a deist, for me personally it just feels strange...the idea of believing in God without one particular set of rules and identity to follow. But I don't deny my deist tendencies. Despite being a Muslim (who actually reads the Koran, fasts during Ramadan, says Islamic prayers and stuffs), I always believe that spiritualism, faith, whatever you call it is always way more than just praying five times a day, fasting during Ramadan, wearing a hijab, going to mosques, et cetera. I don't believe that God only judges a person's qualities by those things. It's always about something more than that. That's why I don't believe at all that women who do not wear a hijab are doomed immediately. I don't believe that. I mean, would you believe that He judges someone BY THEIR OUTER APPEARANCES? I don't get people who don't even think that it's always something more than that. Something...indefinable.
Indefinable. Yes. For years, since I was a kid, I have always wondered what God is actually like. Not what He looks like--although I did think about that sometime in kindergarten, and as you can guess, no one willed to answer that--but more like, what is God, actually? I know He is a higher being, but is He really that someone up there taking care of things in the whole chunk of universe? Is He that far away from us to understand, so much that questions about Him are often dismissed by people who call themselves religious experts? Is He an existence that can be found in every aspect of life? Is He just...everywhere? Not just up there in heaven or whatever that is but...everywhere? In The Meaning of Life Andrea says, "You know, wherever love is, I believe God is." In some ways I agree. Isn't the thought of God everywhere there is love just...so lovely? But that doesn't stop me from answering questions. That's just me. I don't accept things easily. I question them. I think of them. Nothing is simple for me. I believe everything is a complicated form of things put together. Including the definition of God. Not even religious texts can satisfy me. Or maybe not yet. For now I like to think that God really is a higher being taking care of things from up there. But His presence can be felt everywhere. Especially when there is love. Because He is all-loving, all-understanding. He is not as far as people like to say. He is not unreachable. But that's what I like to think. In reality, I still struggle to take the notion of God the Reachable. I am amazed by my friends who talk of God as if they know Him personally. I don't. Not yet. I have yet to develop a personal relationship with Him. I still see Him as something or someone so far away from my grasps. And there are moments when I desperately need to have a personal thing with Him. To be able talk to Him freely--be it spoken words or mere thoughts--without thinking that there is a loooooooooooooooooooooong distance between me and Him. I have not quite reached that level. Not yet.
Then also comes the questions of heaven and hell. Most of us grow up with this simplified notion of good people going to heaven and bad people going to hell. As I grew older I realised that, again, nothing is that simple. Religious texts offer us definitions and explanations of what heaven is like and what hell is like. Sounds nice. Sounds good enough. But it just does sound that way. Could it be true? Maybe. I'm open to all possibilities. For now I like to think that after this life there is somewhere nice up there for people who deserve it. Where there are only love, happiness, and joy. Where we reunite with people who mean so much to us. But at the same time it is possible that heaven is an existence where one just feels...I don't know, free? Loved? Happy? That sort of thing. But, again, that's how I like to think of it. The truth is, I'm as clueless as people are. Some people think they know. I sure don't know. Maybe heaven really is some place good people go to after life. Maybe it really is a pure existence with nothing but love and all things wonderful. A few months ago I wrote a song about it (with my lack of musical talent I still have enough guts to call it a song). Basically it is about all possible forms of heaven, and the question of which one people actually go to after this life. Is it really a place with angels playing harps, with a river that flows eternally, with clouds and stuffs? Is it just an existence of pure love and happiness? And in the meantime where do people go after this life? Is there some place in-between this world and *that* world? I like to think that after this life while waiting for the Day of Judgement people wander around doing things that they love and protecting their loved ones. It sounds romantic, but, again, that's how I like to think of it. Some people say they just wait. Some other people say they are constantly questioned by some beings about things they have done in life. Again, I don't know.
Each time I try to wrap my head around those things raises more and more questions. I do not express those, because I know most people will just dismiss them. Some people are too ignorant to care. Some people think asking those questions is a sin. Some people keep saying that those things are beyond what humans can understand. But what does God--whatever that is--create human mind for, if not thinking about things that He has created, or His existence itself?
I know after this post there will be a lot more to think of about the whole questions of God, spiritualism, heaven, and so on. And in some ways I think I will be the one answering all those questions. Somehow. God knows how. Certainly not now. I don't know when, but hopefully I still have a long way to go.
Yesterday I watched an episode of RTE TV show The Meaning of Life. It's an Irish television show (RTE stands for Raidio Teilifis Eireann, or Radio and Television of Ireland) hosted by prominent Irish presenter Gay Byrne, basically featuring public figures--politicians, musicians, actors, you name it--being asked about...well, about the meaning of life. More specifically, Uncle Gaybo--Byrne's nickname--invites those public figures to talk about God, their spiritualism, significant events in their lives, and so on. The episode I watched features Andrea Corr, the lead singer of my all-time favourite band and one of my girl crushes (yeah, I have girl crushes. Problem?).
Knowing that Andrea--a self-identified interview loather, may I add--tends to give some thought-provoking answers in interviews, the video of the interview on YouTube instantly caught my attention. I had watched it a few months ago, but yesterday when looking through some interview videos featuring The Corrs, I thought probably it would be a good idea for me to watch Andrea's interview on The Meaning of Life. I'm not going to talk about what the episode is all about because that's not the point of this post, but in general Andrea--who was pregnant with her daughter Jean at the time of the interview--talked about her mother (who died in 1999--The Corrs have written several songs dedicated to her), her religious faith, how she thinks of her fame (she doesn't at all like it, mind you), her brother Jim's conspiracy theories, and so on. Here is the interview, but please make sure you watch it after reading this:
God, isn't she gorgeous and wonderful and...okay, back to topic. So I said I thought it would be a good idea for me to watch the interview again. How wrong I was. It was not a good idea, because yesterday my head was killing me, and watching the interview only made my head spin 'round and 'round and turn upside down (fellow hardCorr fans should get the pun!) with thoughts. About a lot of things. A lot of things that Uncle Gaybo asked Andrea. A lot of things that Andrea revealed. But mostly I thought about God.
Yeah, God. I'm a religious person, whatever that means. I believe in God the Loving, God the Maker, God the Merciful. My faith happens to be Islam, because...well, my parents are Muslims and that's how I was brought up. Yes, I know. You might think that I always get the final say about how to live my faith, about what religion I get to choose. Well, I do. More than a few times I try to imagine myself as 'something' other than a Muslim. I try to imagine myself as a Christian, Buddhist, atheist, even I consider myself to have some tendencies towards deism--that is, believing in God or a higher being whatever that may be without committing to one religion. But the more I think about it, I just...well, probably it's because of years of being a Muslim, I just can't imagine myself as anything else. I have read a few verses in the Bible. I looked up some things that Christianity teaches. Doesn't suit me. The same goes with Buddhism. Atheism...well, I just don't get the idea of this world, the whole thing, the whole chunk of universe without a higher being. When I imagine myself as a deist, for me personally it just feels strange...the idea of believing in God without one particular set of rules and identity to follow. But I don't deny my deist tendencies. Despite being a Muslim (who actually reads the Koran, fasts during Ramadan, says Islamic prayers and stuffs), I always believe that spiritualism, faith, whatever you call it is always way more than just praying five times a day, fasting during Ramadan, wearing a hijab, going to mosques, et cetera. I don't believe that God only judges a person's qualities by those things. It's always about something more than that. That's why I don't believe at all that women who do not wear a hijab are doomed immediately. I don't believe that. I mean, would you believe that He judges someone BY THEIR OUTER APPEARANCES? I don't get people who don't even think that it's always something more than that. Something...indefinable.
Indefinable. Yes. For years, since I was a kid, I have always wondered what God is actually like. Not what He looks like--although I did think about that sometime in kindergarten, and as you can guess, no one willed to answer that--but more like, what is God, actually? I know He is a higher being, but is He really that someone up there taking care of things in the whole chunk of universe? Is He that far away from us to understand, so much that questions about Him are often dismissed by people who call themselves religious experts? Is He an existence that can be found in every aspect of life? Is He just...everywhere? Not just up there in heaven or whatever that is but...everywhere? In The Meaning of Life Andrea says, "You know, wherever love is, I believe God is." In some ways I agree. Isn't the thought of God everywhere there is love just...so lovely? But that doesn't stop me from answering questions. That's just me. I don't accept things easily. I question them. I think of them. Nothing is simple for me. I believe everything is a complicated form of things put together. Including the definition of God. Not even religious texts can satisfy me. Or maybe not yet. For now I like to think that God really is a higher being taking care of things from up there. But His presence can be felt everywhere. Especially when there is love. Because He is all-loving, all-understanding. He is not as far as people like to say. He is not unreachable. But that's what I like to think. In reality, I still struggle to take the notion of God the Reachable. I am amazed by my friends who talk of God as if they know Him personally. I don't. Not yet. I have yet to develop a personal relationship with Him. I still see Him as something or someone so far away from my grasps. And there are moments when I desperately need to have a personal thing with Him. To be able talk to Him freely--be it spoken words or mere thoughts--without thinking that there is a loooooooooooooooooooooong distance between me and Him. I have not quite reached that level. Not yet.
Then also comes the questions of heaven and hell. Most of us grow up with this simplified notion of good people going to heaven and bad people going to hell. As I grew older I realised that, again, nothing is that simple. Religious texts offer us definitions and explanations of what heaven is like and what hell is like. Sounds nice. Sounds good enough. But it just does sound that way. Could it be true? Maybe. I'm open to all possibilities. For now I like to think that after this life there is somewhere nice up there for people who deserve it. Where there are only love, happiness, and joy. Where we reunite with people who mean so much to us. But at the same time it is possible that heaven is an existence where one just feels...I don't know, free? Loved? Happy? That sort of thing. But, again, that's how I like to think of it. The truth is, I'm as clueless as people are. Some people think they know. I sure don't know. Maybe heaven really is some place good people go to after life. Maybe it really is a pure existence with nothing but love and all things wonderful. A few months ago I wrote a song about it (with my lack of musical talent I still have enough guts to call it a song). Basically it is about all possible forms of heaven, and the question of which one people actually go to after this life. Is it really a place with angels playing harps, with a river that flows eternally, with clouds and stuffs? Is it just an existence of pure love and happiness? And in the meantime where do people go after this life? Is there some place in-between this world and *that* world? I like to think that after this life while waiting for the Day of Judgement people wander around doing things that they love and protecting their loved ones. It sounds romantic, but, again, that's how I like to think of it. Some people say they just wait. Some other people say they are constantly questioned by some beings about things they have done in life. Again, I don't know.
Each time I try to wrap my head around those things raises more and more questions. I do not express those, because I know most people will just dismiss them. Some people are too ignorant to care. Some people think asking those questions is a sin. Some people keep saying that those things are beyond what humans can understand. But what does God--whatever that is--create human mind for, if not thinking about things that He has created, or His existence itself?
I know after this post there will be a lot more to think of about the whole questions of God, spiritualism, heaven, and so on. And in some ways I think I will be the one answering all those questions. Somehow. God knows how. Certainly not now. I don't know when, but hopefully I still have a long way to go.
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